Have you ever noticed that you can point out twenty or thirty things you do not like about yourself almost immediately, but when someone asks you to name a few things you truly love about yourself, it suddenly becomes difficult?
For many women, criticizing ourselves comes naturally. We notice every flaw, every insecurity, every failure, every extra pound, every wrinkle, every mistake, and every reason we think we are not enough. Yet when it comes to recognizing our strengths, our beauty, our gifts, and the value God placed inside of us, we often struggle.
That was me for many years.
I spent most of my life serving everyone else. I served my husband, my children, the church, the business, the employees, and the endless needs around me. I was running a multi million dollar business, helping lead ministries, holding everything together, and making sure everyone else was taken care of. From the outside, people probably thought I was strong and confident. But deep down, I struggled with very low self esteem.
Somewhere along the way, I lost myself.
After my husband passed away, my sons graduated from high school, and I eventually sold the business and properties, I found myself completely devastated. For the first time in decades, life became quiet enough for me to realize I did not really know who I was outside of what I did.
I began asking myself difficult questions. Who am I now? What am I good at? What is my purpose? I had spent so many years taking care of everyone else that I had forgotten how to see value in myself.
Psalm 139:14 says, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”
The problem was never that God forgot who I was. The problem was that I had forgotten. I had spent years believing negative thoughts about myself. I believed what others spoke about me, or what I thought other people were thinking about me. I focused on my weaknesses instead of the gifts and strength God had already placed inside of me.
Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Healing began when I started renewing my mind with God’s Word instead of constantly replaying insecurity, fear, and criticism in my thoughts. I had to intentionally begin speaking life over myself. I had to learn to stand in front of the mirror and stop tearing myself down. Instead of speaking what I felt, I began speaking what God said about me.
“Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.” ~Isaiah 43:1
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” ~Ephesians 2:10
Science now confirms what the Bible has taught all along. The thoughts we repeatedly think begin shaping the pathways in our brain. Negative thoughts strengthen anxiety, insecurity, fear, and hopelessness. But when we consistently replace those thoughts with truth, gratitude, encouragement, and faith, our thinking begins to change. Over time, confidence begins to grow.
One of the greatest things I learned during that season was that confidence is not arrogance. Confidence is simply agreeing with God about who He created you to be.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” ~Proverbs 18:21
The words you speak over yourself matter. If you constantly speak defeat, insecurity, and rejection, your mind and emotions will follow those words. But when you begin declaring God’s truth over your life, healing begins to take place little by little.
You are not your mistakes. You are not your failures. You are not what someone else said about you. You are not the lies insecurity whispers in your quiet moments.
You are chosen. You are loved. You are valuable. You are capable. You are strong. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God.
Maybe today is the day you stop looking at yourself through the lens of pain and begin seeing yourself through the eyes of the One who created you.
Sometimes the greatest healing begins when you finally look in the mirror and see someone worth loving.
Cheering you on…
