Finding God’s Peace Within First
For many years, I thought keeping the peace meant staying quiet, avoiding conflict, and making sure everyone around me was okay. I believed that if I could just keep everyone happy and prevent tension, then there would be peace in my home. But over time, I realized I was not actually creating peace. I was carrying pressure, frustration, and exhaustion internally while trying to control everything around me so nobody else became upset.
There is a difference between being a peacekeeper and being a peacemaker.
Jesus said in Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” He did not say blessed are the people who silently carry everything while pretending everything is okay. A peacemaker brings truth, wisdom, love, and healthy communication into situations. That kind of peace starts within first.
For years in my marriage, I rarely spoke up about things that bothered me. I truly believed staying silent was the loving thing to do. After dinner every night, I would stay in the kitchen cleaning while everyone else relaxed and watched television. I never really expressed how I felt because I thought I was “keeping peace.”
One evening after about 13 years of marriage, my husband became upset because I was not coming into the family room to spend time with everyone after dinner. He thought it was because I didn’t want to spend time with them. Something in me finally spoke up. I remember saying, “Well, if you all would help bring in your plates, throw the garbage away, and help clean up the kitchen, then maybe I could come sit down and watch TV too.”
I will never forget the look on his face. He looked shocked, almost like he genuinely had no idea I felt overwhelmed.
But from that day forward, everything changed. They started helping.
Later, I remember thinking to myself, “What if I would have spoken up earlier? I could have had years of help instead of silently doing it all myself.”
That experience taught me something powerful. Many times, people are not intentionally hurting us. Sometimes they simply do not know because we never communicate it.
John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
Real peace begins internally. When we have peace within ourselves through Christ, we no longer feel the need to control everything around us or silence ourselves out of fear. Ephesians 4:15 says, “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things.”
Speaking truth in love is biblical. Having a voice is healthy. Being a peacemaker does not mean becoming a doormat. It means walking in wisdom, love, grace, and healthy communication while allowing God’s peace to lead your heart first.
I love this quote that a dear friend of mine shared,
“Say what you mean, Mean what you say, But don’t say it mean.”
If you have lost your voice, or have been trying to “keep peace” like I was, I encourage you to switch it up. Let those that are close to you know, “I’m getting my peace back and using my voice again.”
I’m cheering you on!
